This has been a wake-up call sort of a week. First, Monday night, after I emailed ya'll, we went to a member's home to have a family home evening devotional. As we shared our messages about sharing our testimonies with those around us, we bore our testimonies, and I don't even know what happened, but my testimony hit me so strong that I started to cry. I haven't ever done that before. I think it surprised m--the spirit and truthfulness I felt when I said it. It has been a while since I have gotten to bear such a sincere testimony. It shocked me, and I probably needed to hear it more than anyone else.
And then, this week we had exchanges with the Franklin Sisters. I got to go to Franklin with the nicest sister. She just served me all day. Making me lunch, and always making sure I had what I needed. I was again shocked by the love that she had for me, and wanted to show me so badly. She is from Spanish Fork, and her dad is best friends with some of the Lone Peak basketball coaches. Crazy right? Sometimes, we all need to be shown a little love, and go the extra mile for another.
The next morning, during morning exercise, I was running and pondering. My mind wandered to all the great missionaries, and the pretty people I know, and oh, how they are this and that more than me. Insecure moments...ah they happen. But I had this huge realization like, "I bet they have hard times on their missions too. We just all have different weaknesses. We are all strugglers." It hit home in my heart, and I started thinking, we are all strugglers. That's what kind of people we are. And that is enough. And that is fine. We are all struggling through one thing, to the next along the journey of our life, and Christ is there to help us along. There is no need to judge another because maybe they are a different type of struggler. They may not struggle in the same way I do or you do. So what! It is our job, because we are all children of God, to look at another with LOVE and help them on their journey. Help them across their speed bump. Instead of making their burdens heavier.
Everyone in the world. Everyone in our ward. Everyone in our family, is imperfect, weak beings. Why do we have this pressure on us to be perfect, or to look good all the time, or to impress those around us? Why aren't we relishing in our weaknesses, and building each other up? I get so discouraged by the mere fact that perfection isn't attainable, and that I will never be doing as good as I want. BUT THAT IS OKAY. At least that is what I am trying to understand. THAT IS WHAT THE WHOLE ATONEMENT IS FOR. Why is it so easy to lose sight of that?
This week more than any, I just want others to realize that it is okay to STRUGGLE. Smile about it. Laugh about it. Do a little bit better the next day, and if not, relish in the fact that we have a Savior who took on our sins, our weaknesses, our awkwardness, so that we can in turn find peace.
Every less-active I met with this week, gave me the same answer as to why they didn't come to church this week. Not because they didn't believe in it. They knew the gospel was true. But they lost hope in the people and they didn't want to be around that. Oh boy, can I relate to that. Yes, I have felt that. Oh, and I used to get so angry with the people. The only reason I kept going is because I remembered the sincere words of my parents saying, "We don't go for the people, we go because we LOVE GOD." God loves us, and he has blessed us with His house to feel peace, love and kindness. And we go, every week, even grudgingly sometimes, because we love our Heavenly Father and He has asked us to go.
A member shared this witty insight with me this week. He spread his hands out wide, and he said, "If you let a person get between you and your relationship with God, then who is closer to God?" Isn't that true? Isn't that true?
So, this week I had moments of struggle. I had moments of opposition. I had small moments of triumph, but that gives me hope. This week I heard someone say that we are all Doubting Thomas's with HOPE! It's true. Our faith isn't rock solid sometimes, just like Thomas. But we can gather enough hope to act in faith and little by little it will grow.
Just act with all the faith you have, struggle through it, and the Lord will reward you with more blessings than you can ever recognize!