Monday, April 28, 2014

Miracles and hardships

Hey Daddy!!

Its so great to hear from you every week. For some reason, your words bring me so much comfort! Ah, I am glad you had a fun trip in Hawaii and got to see everyone again, that must have been really surreal. And you are home safe and sound, which is the most important part!

The mission is the HARDEST experience by far in my life! Ha ha, you know what I mean. It is not only teaching, but I am realizing that even habits I picked up from being the only girl, and not having to share things or work together on things has stuck with me here. I'm such an independent thinker, and its hard for me to work with someone else all the time. And mesh her ideas and my ideas or what not. And I have a hard time taking criticism. Look how good this will be for me in marriage! Ah, my husband will be blessed for all of my learning experiences out here ha ha! I have had to take more correction and criticism in the last 2 months or so, than ever before and it hurts naturally, and I am working to take it in humbly and move on. I have to pray super hard! But sometimes, I fail and I get angry or sad. My trainee pulls out preach my gospel and the white handbook and uses it against me to nit pick all the things I am doing wrong. She can't see how hard I am trying to do my very best and that I am learning.

I realized how you guys must feel as parents. You know you are right, but its hard to get the kids to see or listen to what you say. And we use all our knowledge to prove we are right back. Ah, its so hard! Being a parent must be so difficult! Kudos to you for being so kind to me growing up, even when I was the most stubborn thing. I still am pretty stubborn, but I am working on it. Its weird too, how rules can blind you from your purpose and progress. When you follow all the rules, you think you are doing a good job, but are you really helping people? Are you really changing? Are you being obedient because you want to or because your supposed to? Ah, too many thoughts in my head. You know me!

Its been a great week and a hard week. I never knew it would be like this. I have so much to learn too. I have no idea why I am trying to teach someone else, but I need to recharge, refocus on my purpose, and give it my all. In some ways, I have lost my connection and trust with the Spirit. Its a hard language to master. I need to step it up, and dig deep. This really will be the best two years for my life. Or year and a half.

But I am getting SOOO excited for mothers day! I can't wait to talk to you guys! It will be so weird. And just think in a year from now, I will talk to you all, and be coming home a month later. This time will fly. I am loving it. I love meeting new people and the members or lots of times the best parts. The relief society president is a beast, she is the nicest one to us! I'm grateful she lets you know how I am doing. She wants me to be confident and believe in myself. I learned that you do need to fake til you make it. Because when you don't people doubt you, and that's why my trainee has learned to doubt me. But hopefully, lesson learned and I can do better next time!

Training is hard though. Just like being a mother. It's weird, the first day after my third companion left, I felt the weight of the adversary settle on my shoulders, just like, "Now, I have more time to focus on you!" And I need to really work on feeding my Spirit. Being in greater spiritual shape to handle everything that is coming at me, whether it be planning, teaching, finding, or working together with my companion. None of those are easy! But I have established a pretty open relationship, where she feels comfortable telling me the things she is feeling. Which are usually about the things I am doing wrong, which causes me to pray out the offense. I am learning to really just love, to be patient, and to find stronger ways to trust God. And to follow the Spirit. Serious, spiritual workout, you know what I mean? Ha ha

A fun miracle that happened this week, so I won't claim to be the best driver, its been 8 months since I have really driven. And now, I am the designated driver on these skinny Tennessee roads. Another weakness I have, directions. I don't get it unless I drive it myself. So, I am learning, and making my comp stressed ha ha, and then I took the wrong turn. I was like, no big deal, I will go around the cul de sac and fix it, right? Wrong. On my way out of the street, a metal sliding noise came from the bottom of the car. I was freaking out inside. We stopped the car, tried to figure out the problem. Tried calling some people, no one answered. Ah, I was praying so hard! But my natural man side was screaming, "Of course this would happen to me. Its my first day driving. I will have to call the mission office, oh how embarrassing!!!!" But, my lovely companion had a brilliant thought.--"I think we need to talk to someone on this street and ask for help. I'll say the prayer." Next thing I know, I turn around and there is a man walking his two dogs. I felt like a damsel in distress, calling out to him, "Hey, do you know anything about cars?" But he tried to help us, and we ended up getting a hold of some ward members to come and help us. Just before they arrived, we started talking to this guy about our church. Turns out he just moved in and doesn't have a church family yet! Plus, he just had a new born baby! MIRACLE! MIRACLE! And get this, right after he walked away, and our help came, the metal noise stopped!! I was shocked...stunned...amazed...it was so cool!

So, our wonderful relief society president went and bought a baby outfit, and we knocked his door to say thanks a few days later. His wife answered, and we found out that her grandpa was Mormon and had grown up as a kid going to church on occasion, and had the missionaries over often! What the heck? This is not a coincidence. She gave us her number and we are going to go back next week or so. I was so grateful for this unexpected tender mercy. I am so grateful for the small and simple ways the Lord shows us that He loves us and that He is there. You just have to open you eyes wide and be ready for miracles.

Lets see, other than that, it's been a normal week. It is raining really hard here today! Apparently a pretty big storm is coming through, good thing we don't have the car right?? Ha ha, fun adventures to come! I need to refocus and really find my mental stability out here. I need to find my inner missionary chi! Ha ha, gotta love the mission jokes right?

Well Dad, I am praying for Mel and Chad. And the Family. I am glad to hear most things are going well. I get homesick sometimes seeing nice dads talk and play with their daughters. You are such a blessing to my life, and I know that I needed you to be my dad. I wouldn't have survived this life with someone else! Thanks for always being my support and having confidence in me!

I love your letters. They make me feel so comforted and loved. I was thinking about how I feel loved most, and I think it is time spent talking and listening. I'm so grateful that you and dad always took the time to talk and listen to me. 

Love, Sister Frampton




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