Man, I am so excited to email you today. And I am on a different computer so I hope that this actually sends to you this time. Well, this week has been a insane week, that's for sure! I don't think you can really ever get used to mission life, because they are always throwing new things at you.
So here is the news: I am in Thompson Station training Sister Tagilala with Sister Gates. Transfer meeting was AWESOME! It was so fun to see everybody again that came out on my mission with me. Everyone was so nice and excited to see me. Made me feel SO loved! And then we had a meeting with President Andersen about training new missionaries. It was cool to hear him talk about the process of how he picks trainers. He said that he prays about which missionaries need to be trainers this transfer, and decides from there. I felt needed for the first time in a long time. Like the Lord needed me to help a new missionary. It was like this mystery girl was my child. I wanted to be the best trainer and do all I could to help her have a good experience and learn out here.
And then, we got to go and meet all the new missionaries. The suspense was killing me. WHICH ONE WAS MY CHILD!! I had no idea. But I did notice that they were all really cute white girls, except for 2. One Hispanic and one Polynesian. I thought to myself, "How funny would it be if it was the Polynesian?" And then each girl came up one by one and read which area they were going to....ahh...WHO WAS IT?? And then, Sister Tagilala, the lone Polynesian got up there and read Thompson Station. I was so excited and knew that it was not a coincidence. Sister Gates and I charged her and gave her a big hug. I become a Mother:) Haha, but it really is so exciting. She grew up in Fiji, and now her family lives in California. They are converts to the church too, and I love hearing her testimony. I ask her to tell everyone, just so I can listen to it again.
Sister Tagilala mom was taught and baptized by Lei Pakalani! From Hawaii remember. She served her mission in Tonga that's where she was found. How crazy! What are the chances. Small word.
I decided my mission life is almost a mini-version of my entire life at this point. I am living with a sweet Polynesian who brings back so many memories of my old way of life. And then Sister Gates who is from Utah, and reminds me so much of highschool and the culture there. And I am somewhere in the middle trying to balance us all with these Southerners who I love with all my heart! Now I am just waiting to me meet a Parisian and my mini-mission life will be complete! What are the odds right?
Boy, this transfer is going to be a challenge. I know it and can feel it. It's a little bit funny that I am training, because I myself don't feel like I know what I am doing haha! But my trainee has NO IDEA!! Poor girl, she will figure that out soon enough! I am like a pre-teen Mom or something on the mission. But the baby has no idea, that her mom is younger than most moms. Does that make sense? It's all good though, you make the best out of situations that you are put into. Like today, we bought spam and soy sauce. She loves the stuff. Boo-yah!
Thompson Station has a great ward and the people are really helpful to us, which is nice. The area itself is harder to find people to listen to our message. I am so determined though. I pray and I study for these people. I want them to listen, even though I have so many fears, my mouth barely makes out real sentences. I keep thinking of new ideas to try, and new approaches to tracting because so far the old approach hasn't worked. It is so different from my last area where we were so busy, I rarely ever had to go tracting. Now, that is all we do. It's really humbling, and I am again brought down to the realization that I can't do this without the Lord. I literally don't know how we are helping the area here. Especially since the area has been tracted so many times that people are bugged by us. But after praying and racking my mind for solutions, I continually come back to the realization that I need to suck it up, go to work, and the Lord will provide a way for us. I feel really determined and hopeful that the Lord is preparing people here, and that I need to do my best to be prepared spiritually and work on my teaching so that I can be ready for when the time does come that we find someone that will listen.
It has been hard lately to try and keep up a good attitude about everything. It is Spring Break and everyone and their dog is going out of town, plus we don't have a car....and I think, "I want the best experience for this trainee!! It's her first area." And then she confounds me, because she always says, "It's alright. This will be great. It's going to be awesome!" She is the most positive person I know. She is teaching me a lot . . . more than I can teach her.
And that brought to this realization about my mission. Everyone probably already knows this, so don't worry about being inspired by this, but truly, I know that I will LEARN FAR FAR FAR more than anything I will ever teach anyone. My favorite thing has actually become listening to people. Hearing their stories, and seeing things from their perspective. It is so interesting! And the people I come in contact with that are members here and so strong and hard working. They have such powerful testimonies, because they have to be confident in what they believe in here, every day. I am a sponge just slowly absorbing as I go.
I am also called to teach and to spread the gospel. And even though, it doesn't come naturally to me, I know that I can do it. Just reading the story of Moses or Jeremiah, who struggled in speech and told the Lord they couldn't do it. The Lord said back to them basically, "Don't you have faith that through me, you can do all things." I need to have that faith, that I can overcome my fears and share this great message. I need to realize that it is not me doing this great work anyways. Gosh, no matter how great I sound, there is not one person who will listen without the Holy Ghost testifying the truth of it unto them. And now that I am not in training anymore, I don't have anyone to hide beneath or rely on to save me. I have to talk a lot now, and it's kinda weird. I am trying to learn how to lead a lesson, or remember to make commitments with them. Ah, my soul is growing. I don't even know how its possible not to change on your mission. You are put into so many uncomfortable positions, and forced to overcome them. So, here I go on my journey to overcome LOTS OF STUFF!!
Good thing I got friends on the other side helping me right?
Well, I am sorry that you haven't gotten to hear from me for a while. But these are some of my thoughts. I would encourage all of you who read this, to pick something you struggle with and start to rely on the Lord to help you overcome it. Send me some of your experiences and I will make sure to write down my experiences as I try to open my mouth!
Oh and pray for me! I am already mentally preparing for the hardest week of my life!! No car, tracting, possible rain, PRAY LOTS!! Haha, gotta love the mission life!
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!! I love ya! I wrote you a letter, so I will send that off today. And one to Wyatt as well. I am trying to become a facebook missionary, so they are going through the process of approving me right now. Also, could you send me pictures of my baptism, and me playing sports or different activites of the family. I am sooooo excited for Zach. He is turning into the coolest brother on the planet! I am so happy for that guy! Sheesh, and I miss you all. I did get the chocolate, seaweed package!! Thank YOU!!! made my day. I love reading your sacrament meeting letters so funny. Mom, you really knew best for me all along. Ah, humility, love it!!! HAHA