Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The End

Oh man, so tonight was a sad one.

Everyone on my study abroad got together to eat one last dinner together. And tomorrow is the last day with all of us together. How does that even happen? How did it get to be this point? Why is time so mean?

It's always when you are having the most fun that time flies. Evil evil time. Sitting around a table eating with my favorite people on the program is the best day ever. And also a sad day.

At the end of the night, we gathered around and our professor and his wife gave us their last words. Many people were crying. I will say I was one of them. That family--literally on my most favorite family list. Some of the best people I have met. They have made me feel so comfortable and loved for whoever the heck I want to be or whoever the heck I am. They have the cutest kids out there. So smart with great personality. I owe them so much. I couldn't even muster a proper thank you because if I did, I would break down and ball.

They set the tone for the entire program. ENTIRE PROGRAM! It would have been a different program without them. Kuddos. Kuddos to them. Thanks for making my experience great.

This whole thing has literally changed my heart. Whatever I sound lame. Or dumb. Or one of those emotional girls that comes to Europe to have a life changing experience. But maybe that's okay. It's okay that I changed. I am so dang happy about every day and every decision I have made here.

To be honest, I didn't have to much belief in myself or really hope that I could change. Or hope that I could do hard things. I was always worried that I shouldn't make goals or dreams because I wouldn't be able to accomplish them.

No. No. No. No. Do NOT have that mentality. Yes, this is cheesy. Dreams DO COME TRUE! 

I made a list of all the things and places I wanted to do when I got here. To be real, I didn't think I would do all of them. Or be able to plan or have it all work out.

This past week, I looked through my journal and saw the list. I did every single thing. EVERY single thing. And the feeling...that's a feeling. I accomplished my goals. I accomplished my dream. It came true.

Ah, I just want to dream. And I have so much hope that no matter how painful the journey, I can do it. I can work through it. I can enjoy the journey.

And then...it's sad because the very first dream I had, and tried, and leaped for....is almost over. Even though I am going to Italy for a week, I won't be on my BYU Study Abroad. I won't be with the same people. It's okay that I am sad. I am sad because I am so happy here. And hey, that is the best kind of sad.

I never want to forget my life here. Like today, I went swimming out in the Mediterranean. Boo yah! Literally, pretty cold but refreshing. The water was clear and teal. Cassis reminds me of Greece. If that helps you picture the ocean I was swimming in today.

I hope that when I come back home, I can have the confidence to be the person I am here. To take what I learned on my mission, and never forget what I learned. I want to walk off the plane in Salt Lake City, and walk like I walked the streets of Paris.

The end of a dream....makes you crave to live another one.

1 comment:

  1. Awwwww it's just so sad. My favorite line is that you're so sad because you're so happy. Too much to say. Just too much. I can't believe it's over already, and I'm so grateful for all those who impacted you.